Perceptional process is real.

                It’s interesting to think how much our mind processes without us noticing. After learning about perceptional process I became aware of how much I do it. It’s not until I had to think about when I’ve done it that I realized the steps that I take daily. For my job, I do it all the time, I was just never aware of how much I do it. When it comes to my daily life it’s harder for me to actually pinpoint when I do it. One time that I can apply this too is when I tried to give food to a homeless man in San Diego.

 My best friend and I went to San Diego for our other best friend’s graduation. He was graduating the Marines and we were so excited to finally meet with him again. After 4 months of not being able to communicate with him, we all reunited and began to explore the city of San Diego. The three of us were walking around trying to find this famous pizza place that was mentioned to us. On the way to the pizza place I noticed this man sitting outside a Starbucks. He was wearing worn out clothes, he looked like he hadn’t had a shower in ages, he was smoking a cigarette and had an empty Starbucks cup with him. As we passed by him he smiled but did not ask for anything. A little ways down was the pizza place, and so we walked inside and ordered our food. The whole time I could not get this man out of my head. All I kept thinking about was how hungry he must be. I looked out the window and saw him walking back and forth several times. I then got up and bought a giant slice of pizza in order to give to this man. A little later on, the homeless man came in to use the bathroom, I thought “OK, this is it, this man deserves this pizza!” I then waited patiently for this guy to come out of the bathroom. As soon as I saw him I called out to him and said “Here you go sir, I hope you like pepperoni”. The man grabbed the pizza and smiled, but looked a little confused. As he began to walk out, the workers of the pizza place called out his name and said hello. He then goes “Yeah I just came in to make a quick stop and now I have a pizza”. I then thought that maybe this man wasn’t homeless at all and that he just might be a local. My friends then began to laugh at me and said “You just confused him for a homeless man”. I was so in shock all I did was sit there and look out the door. Just writing about this story makes me laugh. I still don’t know if this guy was really homeless or not but the perception that I made because of his outward appearance made me believe that he was in need. The way I processed the whole thing landed me on the conclusion that he was homeless. As I write this, I have a smile on my face because I don't think he actually was. In the end I like to think I did my part, but it would of been better for me to analyze the whole situation without making a quick assumption.

 

(This is my best friends and I walking back from the pizza place in San Diego, CA :'D)

Yay to my first real blog post!

     What have I learned these past two weeks? A lot. Every lesson that I have been part off has struck a chord with me in a way that it hasn’t before. I find most of the lessons ironic since I work at a residential treatment center for teenage girls and the subject of vulnerability is something that we try to teach them and have them apply it to their lives every day.  I’ve been working at Sunrise for over a year now and what I’ve learned, among other things, is that vulnerability really is the key to happiness. Now, do I apply it to my daily life? I like to think that I do, but I am well aware that vulnerability doesn’t come easy for me. I consider myself a very outspoken person, sometimes I say too much of what’s on my mind, but when it comes to expressing my fears and weaknesses, well that’s a whole different story. I’ve been told before that I am a person who connects easily with people because I am very open. Every time I’ve heard that comment I laugh on the inside. Don’t get me wrong, I do think that I have the ability to make connections easily and I am open, to a certain extent, but I’ve come to realize is that I like to make surface level relationships in order to protect myself form getting hurt. There are only a couple of people who I’ve let in, and I still have a hard time with that. It’s funny because I am able to help and support others, but I still have a hard time doing that for myself and because of what my job requires me to do I tend to have an inner conflict with myself at times.

My job is to help, support, and influence lasting change. I am a youth mentor, I have a small role in the process of that change. Realistically it should be that easy, but it’s not. How can I guide someone through the vulnerability road if I myself is still trying to figure it out? I don’t like to feed the girls bullshit because if I’m not true to myself, how would I be able to do what I do. Yet sometimes I still struggle, I go into work, I participate in group therapy, I let them know the schedule, I guide them when they need to process their emotions, I help my shift flow and have structure as much as I can, when I’m upset or sad, I make sure to put a smile on my face and I keep doing my job. The reality of it all is that it’s not just a job anymore but something I’ve completely become invested in. So how do I separate my job responsibilities from my daily life? I tell myself that I am not perfect and that there is nothing wrong with that. This is what I try to teach the girls and also what I try to remind myself. The road to change is made by the individual, I say this to myself every day because for the past year I’ve been blessed to see that over and over again.

 Little by little I’m embracing vulnerability and I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been hard but I know it’s not impossible. The old Whitney would have never been so vulnerable to a bunch of strangers, so it makes me happy to know that somewhere along the way I slowly became comfortable with displaying some of my worries. I’m glad that I decided to take this class because I know, somehow it’s going to make a difference. 

:)

Hello! My name is Whitney Chalco, I am 22 years old and I've lived in St. George for about two years now. I love hiking, random drives, the moon, nature, learning new things and exploring new horizons :) In my 22 years I have lived in a different country twice and in three different states. Every place I've lived in has shaped me into the person I am today and I am thankful to have so many different homes. I hope to one day travel all over the world and experience the many different cultures this world has to offer. If I could, I would even try to go to the moon! I have a weird obsession with the moon and traveling, so you could say I have the travel bug. I am excited to see what this class has to offer, so far it has been the best class I have ever been a part of so I can't wait to see what comes up next!